Tag:Humor
Social Distancing in Text
In light of the recent dictates for social distancing, should we go back to putting two spaces after a period when we type text?
For those of you new here, see my previous post: Two Spaces.
Lost without GPS
The paper map industry has suffered the same fate as the fabled buggy whip industry. Technology has moved on and we no longer have a glove compartment full of maps in our cars as a record of our travels. Hmmmm… I don’t think I’ve ever in my life time seen a pair of gloves in a car’s “glove compartment”, so how does that continue to be the common reference? (I may have AADD. I should never have found out that was a thing.)
I’ve noticed that in the past few years since the advent of GPS mapping, I can’t give directions to anyone anymore. Even places I’ve been to several times, I’m unsure of myself without plugging it into a mapping app. Now that most of them factor in traffic and accidents, I’m often “punished” by trying to head out on my own on a route I know. As I sit in stuck traffic, the alternate route it suggested mocks me.
While I did think GPS was making me stupid, I wouldn’t have thought it was affecting me physically as the Dr. Oz article to the right suggests. I don’t need any brain shrinkage!
I seriously can’t imagine people blindly following it off the road as suggested here. It’s not that accurate with the “Turn here” advice, though it is improving.. (It better get perfected quickly though if those self-driving cars are going to rely on it.)
We had two cars with GPS Navigation built-in. On the plus side, it’s a bigger screen, turns down the radio when it speaks and includes heads-up display. On the downside, it is generally less than 6 months before it’s outdated and the last I checked, the subscription update cost more than a Garmon. But why even buy a Garmon when Google Maps is constantly updated and comes as free app for your phone? The last car we bought, we skipped that option. A $15 phone holder took the place of the $1,000 GPS option.
We still have a few maps and sometimes I find it interesting to pull them out and see where I am on a larger scale. The zoom out feature on the mapping software just doesn’t give you the same effect. On the other hand, my wife would be fine if she never had to look at a paper road map again! She’s directionally challenged and if the map is right-side up in front of her, then we’re always going north…
Gambrinous
Ran across a word I didn’t know today, but one I look forward to using over the Holidays. Gambrinous – Per the Urban Dictionary: To be content and happy due to a stomach full of beer.
Found it elsewhere as just “Full of Beer”, but I like the Urban Dictionary definition above better!
Commuting Observations
I always have to assume this means the child isn’t bright, since they’re obviously running quickly in the picture…
I’m fortunate that I don’t have a particularly long commute to work, but since it’s through a mostly rural area, I have the pleasure of dealing with school buses along the way. It’s amazing that in the short few weeks since school has been in session, I’ve developed active likes and dislikes for some of the families and children along the way… all while never meeting them, but just based on how they interact with the school bus pick up. There’s quite a variety out there and I’ve named a few of the bad apples…
Spaced Cadets – This is a family with three kids. They are never out and ready, and apparently the outside door of the house has an airlock with a timed-release feature as they never come out together. They generally exit the home one at a time and as they are ambling (no rush) to the bus, there is generally a 20’+ spacing between them. Though I can’t see this, the bus driver must have to follow this protocol too and not let another child on until the previous one is seated, since the delay extends beyond just getting to the bus.
Atlas’s Daughter – This poor child stands about 4′ tall, looks to weigh about 60 lb and comes trudging out with a 3′ tall backpack, that from the way she’s carrying it, must weigh 150 lb. She appears to be carrying the weight of the world as she trudges out from the house each morning. Again, she doesn’t start her trek to the road unto the bus arrives, but I at least feel a little sorry for her. If that pack every pulls her over, she’ll be flaying on her back like Randy from A Christmas Story.
Basketball Jones – This young man must be brilliant, since as opposed to Atlas’s Daughter, he carries no books to school. On the positive side, he is generally out by the road, practicing to palm the ball. But then, when the bus arrives with its built-in audience, he has to dribble his way across the road… maybe throwing in an out-of-control spin move, nearly losing the ball several times along the way.
Dead Heads – There are a couple of houses where the bus stops… for an inordinately long period of time, only to move on. The houses are dark. In the case of one, there doesn’t even appear to be curtains in the windows which truly turn a dark-eyed stare to the street. I’m left wondering if there is ever any follow-up on this. While it’s probable that someone overslept or decided to drive the kids to school, there’s always the possibility that a serial killer paid a visit and the whole family is dead… or worse, they’re being held and tortured with their only hope being that the bus driver reports the absence of their children…
While unfortunately, the above get on my nerves and seem to be all too prevalent, there are still others that are more courteous. Some are waiting near the road, either with their parents or on their own, ready to walk briskly or even run to get to the bus as quickly as possible. There is one young man that appears to have invisible Hellhounds on his tail, because he runs headlong for the bus as if his life depends on it. I like him!!! I want to stop and give him $5 at the end of the week! Ha!
If it’s raining or later this year when the weather is frigid, I understand waiting in the house until the last minute. Unfortunately that doesn’t seem to change much of the above behavior. The dawdlers continue to dawdle and the polite and respectful ones are there on time and move to the bus with purpose.
I hate to drop a rant without any constructive solutions. I realize that the children with the poor manners are the product of their parents, so the grief should go upstream… and probably would do no good. But on the houses where no children appear, can the school come up with a sign to put in the window to let the bus driver move on? Maybe a series… One for sickness. One for laziness (went back to bed). One for alternate transportation. Put them on a flip ring and supply a suction cup hook to hang them on the window.
There! Got that off my chest and provided a partial solution. Oh, and one last thing… THANK YOU to the bus drivers that wave the traffic on around when there’s a line behind them. Your thoughtfulness is greatly appreciated. I don’t think I could do your job without ending up as the serial killer listed above!
“Slow Children” sign borrowed from www.seton.com
“Book Bag Girl” gif from www.pinterest.com
“Friendly School Bus Driver pic borrowed from www.mlaker.com
