Walnuts to beat the band!

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2013 Walnuts (pile)
This is what 200 gallons of walnuts look like…

I spent last weekend picking up walnuts.  I lost count on the number of buckets, but I’m estimating I picked up over 200 gallon.  I was too lazy to drag them up and weigh them, but they weren’t light.  We have four walnut trees and we had a bumper crop.    I have a Nut Wizard that works pretty good for picking them up, but this year they were so thick that even that was a challenge.  It does well with one nut, but when you are running across a clump of 5, it doesn’t have the opportunity spread out and pick them up.

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Audiologist Humor

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I was at an Audiologist conference with my wife, Becky, the last few days.  Below’s a sample of Audiologist humor from the Resound blog.  You’ll see what I’ve been putting up with for the last few days.  Putting up with it at a resort retreat wasn’t bad though.  If I’d been healthy it would have been better.  I came down with a cold the day before we left and I’m still fighting it now.  Unfortunately for Becky, all of her quality time with me has resulted in her catching it now too.

One thing I’ve decided.  Audiologists like corny jokes… and Alcohol…  Lots of Alcohol!  So here you go…

Audiologist Pick-up Lines:

  • Want to come over and study forced oscillation and resonance factor?
  • Trust me, I am a doctor.
  • I bet no one can put you in a supine position faster and better than me.
  • Want to learn the log roll?
  • Two words: Fixation denied.
  • Ask me about down ten up five
  • I know the Sabine’s Reverberation Equation. Want to come and test it out in my boudoir?
  • We do it periodically with frequency and great amplitude.
  • Between you and me, we can make Longitudinal waves and Transverse waves.
  • Let’s measure how loud and how far your voice can propagate via simple means of compression and rarefaction.
  • Bone oscillation. Need I say more?
  • Audiology. We bring the “Oooo?!” in Otolaryngology
  • Allow me to find your natural frequency
  • Does the word tinnitus ring a bell?
  • Someday I will find the cure to tinnitus (that ringing noise you hear in your ears) and win the “No Bell” prize.

Cell Phone in Public

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After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes.

As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled

out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice:

“Hi sweetheart. It’s Sue. I’m on the train”.

“Yes, I know it’s the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting”.

“No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss”.

“No sweetheart, you’re the only one in my life”.

“Yes, I’m sure, cross my heart!”

Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly.

When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone,

“Sue, hang up the phone and come back to bed.”

Sue doesn’t use her cell phone in public any longer.