TSA Rebuttal

TSA RebuttalI ran across this ad a few months ago on the back of a magazine.  I thought it was pretty amusing, but after flying this past weekend it’s not as funny as it was.

I can’t think of a job that would be much less fun than TSA agent.  Regardless of this, it is amazing to see the difference in attitudes of the people working for the TSA and how their demeanor transfers to the traveling public.  Agent #1 is all business and that doesn’t bother me.  I’m there for a purpose, they’re there for a purpose… between the two of us we’ll just go through the necessary motions and go on with our lives.  Then there is the agent #2 –  friendly illicites friendly.  Smiles garner smiles.  When she mentions that she knows someone from Culver/Plymouth/South Bend, she creates a connection and relieves some of the stress from the situation.  That’s so much different from agent #3 that treated those of us in line as cattle.  When he tells us there are three lines and to separate into them, he audibly sighs in disgust and looks at us with disdain.  How can we be so stupid?  He’s told us this 30 times already today…  But he hasn’t.  He’s said it thirty times, but to thirty different groups of people.  But that is the problem.  We’re not people to him.  We’re the mass of bodies that continues to clog his space and acknowledging that we’re a new group ruins the easy construct he relates to his wife every night about “the idiots that can’t take direction” that he has to deal with daily.  He’s fine with us being faceless masses and in return, he being a faceless uniform that none of us could pick out of a line-up if paid to.

image borrowed from www.amusingplanet.com

It’s always interesting to see how air travel was in the past.  People dressed up to fly.  Now we’re encouraged to dress down.  Wear flip-flops  –  They’re easier to shed going through the scanner.  Wear sweat pants  –  No need for a belt that way.  Jewelry?  Do you really trust them when you drop it in the little box to pass through the machine?  Cell phone?  Off!!!  Wallet?  Well, yes we’ll let you have that.  Now that nothing is free on the flight, they have to let you carry money in order to buy something to make the flight tolerable.  And don’t you dare forget anything that is on the billboard of items that you can’t wear through the machine.  Not only do you garner the wrath of fellow cattle that are slowed going through the chute, but you are also subjected to the public humiliation of a public examination.

Flip-flops, socks and shorts… Image borrowed from blog.redskins.com

And it would be so much easier if it were standard.  Sometimes shoes can stay on, sometimes not.  Sometimes they want to “swab” your bags (looking for bomb residue), sometimes not.  Jacket and shoes in the same tray?  Cool.  Next time, “Place every item in a separate bin.”  It would be nice to think they are changing it up to fool the would be terrorists, but unfortunately, bureaucracy breeds unnecessary rules and the reality is more likely that some minor functionary makes these rules up for each airport (or gate!)  individually.

An anecdote from earlier this year:  On our last flight to AZ, Becky’s ticket leaving Indy was marked allowing her to bypass security.  As she starts to head off to the fast lane, the TSA Agent looks at me and says, “You’re traveling with her?  Go ahead and go with her.”  Cool!  I’m not sure why we won the lottery, but don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.  On the way back, Becky’s ticket was again flagged.  Cool!  We head over the the fast lane again.  She goes through and they stop me.  “Your ticket isn’t flagged”  But in Indy they said I should go with her since I was traveling with her.  “That’s not how we do it here.”  Ah.  Now I’m a suspect and get extra scrutiny… and the above referenced scorn of fellow travelers…

Friendly TSA Agent image borrowed from www.naplesnews.com

There is no way that all TSA agents can be agent #2.  But the TSA should be striving to weed out agent #3.  He’s the one that gives them all the bad reputation and makes us reconsider whether it would be easier to drive or just skip the trip.  Air travel isn’t as fun as it used to be…  Maybe I’ll do that meeting by Skype and take my vacation at home….

I have to admit, of all the problems I had with my trip this weekend, I can’t really count TSA as one of them.  Most were friendly.  Every line but one was accelerated screening.  I met mainly agents #1 and #2.  Maybe everyone was trying to make up for the psycho in Chicago Friday that started my trip with a 4 hour delay…  Now if they just get my bag back from where it got left in Atlanta…

 

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